Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Brittany Murphy : what a shocker

Heard she died on the 20th of December 2009 .. I was shocked to hear of her death .. she was a good actress and I liked watching her movies.. May her soul rest in Peace...

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Found and Lost

I was watching an old Hindi movie last night and there was this one dialogue which caught my attention. Two ways to get over someone, one was time and other was finding love again. What an odd way I thought, when one way is absolutely painful the other is a positive way of coping with life.
I’m sure we all have found something special and then lost it. The illusion of finding something you love and then to lose it is heart wrenching don’t you think? Sometimes you lose something due to your own fault and sometimes things happen which you don’t plan for and if it was not meant to be. Whatever is the reason it’s an awful experience. The ugly part is its just Life!!

Life is what happens to you while you’re making plans, so if plans don’t go as they are supposed to, then one just has to live with it and get on with it. I have recently found myself wanting to be happy. Happiness again is just an illusion like love. Its temporary feeling that puts a smile on your face. I often wonder why everyone is looking for Happiness, when truly it does not exist in any form. The feeling is just obsession.

Happiness is one ultimate illusion which gives you temporary relief from being poignant. Just like that other feelings are just illusions or temporary state of mind. Expecting anyone this is just being hopeful, again another state of the human mind.

Whatever it is, it’s all a part of human existence and choices are made during these states . It does bring some relief and sometimes it does make you smile but remember a particular state is just temporary.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Hard Work..........

......Beats talent, when talent does not work hard.

The true way to render ourselves happy is to love our work and find in it our pleasure. Sometimes after being in the same company and doing the same thing, seems monotonous, however, I can’t say that about my Job. I have been with my current employment for the past 4 years and still feel like it’s just been a short while and there is so much more to learn and achieve and most of all , so much more to give back .

Although this is just my second job and I have been working for the 7 years now, I saw myself as a stable person when it came to staying at a same place. Not because i was comfortable and would stay in a place cause it paid well, even if i sucked at it .Because,I brought passion, zeal to excel, a unique quality and that is an appetite to learn more, take on the role of the sponge and suck it all up.No amount of politics could bog me down, in the interim, I do my best to keep up to my own expectations of being focused .

Although, my first job started off in a BPO industry, it was not much of learning; however, it set me to do well in next job.It was good foundations and it built my confidence. I could take on challenges, I did not think I could before. It taught me to be candid when things were broken.It made me receptive to feedback whatever it was. Good or bad, I learnt how to take the good and excel further, and do better on the opportunities.

I came to realize, that it did not matter what line of work you were into, if you had the passion, you could conquer anything. Whether you build rockets or just sat around and helped out a customer with some accounts information or just painted walls. The learning was immense, the trick of the trade is what matters. A job well done, definitely deserves a pat on the back and a crappy job deserves a Wack .

I have super hyper tendencies of taking things seriously , when people don’t pay attention or don’t respond with the same exigency on things . The casual behavior always pisses me off and somehow can’t stand it. There are good days and bad day and today the 16th of July 2009, was definitely a good day.

Today, I was requested to interview a candidate and I can tell you that this was a no same old ask questions kind of an interview. The candidate was somewhere in the emirates. I must say that I completely impressed and almost had tears in my eyes when I walked out of the conference room. The person was very concerned and wanted to know about the role. After a 30 min overseas call, which unfortunately the candidate paid for, even after me telling her I would call, we both definitely were touched by each others passions for what it meant to work and do well.

We ended the conversation, with appreciative words for each other, which I’m sure not a lot of interviews end up this way. I patted my back because, I was able to enthuse her with my words, not because I wanted her to join badly, but because I wanted her to know, what was expected of her. She ended the conversations with excited words and how I had instilled her confidence in what was in store for her. A job well done I must say!!

Work is either fun or drudgery. It depends on your attitude. I like fun.

Colleen C. Barrett:

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Seven Women and a Man

My Mother
She has been driving force of my life; she played the prevalent character in what I’m today. Her strength, her percieverience, her hard work, her experiences have shaped my life. The fact that she posed to be a strong willed,took life in the most positive way and waged through her life.Did her best and most importantly did the right things for her two daughters deserves immense respect.
Her happiness, her laughs, her beautiful smile, could draw your attention in a crowd of thousands. She played her perfect part in a Shakespearean play of her life. Her willingness to love whatever she did,the great source of the strength she possessed is mind blowing. I’m grateful to god, that he thought of me worthy enough to conceive in her womb and share most of her genes.

Mother Theresa
This lady deserves no petty words, she’s more than words. being capable of inspiring millions m buy just being her and teaching us to be kind, loving, respectful,which made her nothing short of a living saint.

I do admire some woman I have met during the course of my life. I have met woman who carry an inconceivable passions for what they do. It makes me happy that I’m in a way or the other associated with these special women,and share most of their passion.

I respect them very much and would not quote their names for the reason of privacy, but would definitely like to pay tribute to each and every one of them who hold a special place in my heart.

This woman Fills the best part of my life. She's one with selfless attitude, a fun person to be with, she's been my mate for several years and going strong, if Same sex marriage was something i fancied , then i would definitely go for it, just kidding but she's a perfect friend.

This lady is someone I admire and share a special relationship with. Her strength, her conscious effort to make sure she cares for her loved one’s even though it requires hurting them to keep them safe, baffles’ me. Her caring attitude completely takes a different tandem.

My Mentor , from the time I took on a very challenging role of my career , she still is and I look up to her for advice, whenever I think of getting involved in something that I want to pursue.
Her straightforward attitude and the readiness to help is something that I strongly admire. She has inspired me on several occasions and made me feel
that I can achieve anything if I put my mind to it.

This girl is my mate , she is like my keep calm charm , you know what I mean . She’s someone I can speak to, crib to, which I do most often. I take her advice seriously. She's innocent at heart yet a very mature individual

Ha ha what can I say , my world is filled with good women , this particular person is someone who can take on so much, that sometimes, I wonder how she does it . She’s made life easy, is a very good person at heart and is very emotional at times, especially when it comes to her loved ones.

There is one man I truly admire, I feel he share's so much of my outlook, Is a hopeless romantic, and adult and a child at the same time and a dear friend.
It also proves that you don't need to see a person or meet a person to feel the connection. But one thing about him is, he knows what he wants.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Sia has done it again tonight. Her striking tone of voice intrigues me with every song she sings. The Chello, the keyboard playing in the number just takes me through this wonderful expanse of my life.
Suddenly as I’m lost in the chello and keyboard and her voices, the drums come in perfect synchronization to the rest of the song. Her voice is perfect; the lyrics are just amazing and an absolute contentment to listen to. She and I have become cohort and can take on life just like her songs …

Help, I have done it again
I have been here many times before
Hurt myself again today
And, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
I'm needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

Ouch I have lost myself again
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,
Yeah I think that I might break
I've lost myself again and I feel unsafe

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
I'm needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
I'm needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

Thursday, July 9, 2009

The Pageant of The Bizzare..........

The 10th of July, 1.18 am Friday 2009. My insomnia still prevails. I listen to some of my favorite artists, who sing to me tirelessly with the same passion as if performing the song for me exclusively.
The gift of technology to human kind I believe was to freeze time, emotions and everything else that encompasses us on this celestial planet and drives us towards a celestial complexity, which I believe, is god. To an atheist or an antagonistic the celestial complexity might be completely different.
I play a particular number by "Zero 7” The Pageant of Bizarre, from their 2006 album “The garden” this Band brings us some ,trip- Hop, down tempo, Acid Jazz music .
Sia Furler ,continues to entice me with her acrobatic voice, successfully taking me into her extraterrestrial world, her words make me wonder about people that surround me and my ever-changing life .
The Pageant of Bizarre, seemed like a extraordinarily straight forward lyrical recipe, yet there I was associating this multifarious song to everyone I knew, and had heard of.
How many people I knew, took chances. How many people I knew went the superfluous mile to achieve greater love, success, wealth? Whatever drove them to go on?
To achieve something, the only route is to take the dip, be gallant, live for the moment, and yet plan passionately for the future. Never stop living, even if it’s just for the moment. Don’t stop yourself from catching the falling stars and wonder at the beauty of the rainbow that appears in your window. Never shy away from the challenge of changing things or taking the high road.


It’s never gonna be
Normal, you and me
What you're signing on for
Is a storm at sea
So if you think you're tough
Give me all your love
And I'll give you every little piece of me
Catch a falling star you'll go far
In the pageant of the bizarre
And tonight I give you my heart

We will never be a nuclear family
But a rainbow will begin at our feet
And if you take my hand
Beware that this boat can
Run aground making the ocean floor weep

Catch a falling star you'll go far
In the pageant of the bizarre
And tonight I give you my heart

Take a chance on me, yeah
You're my remedy, yeah
You may fall indeed, yeah
You'll find peace with me, yeah
Take a chance on me, yeah
You're my remedy, yeah
You may fall indeed, yeah
You'll find peace with me, yeah
Peace with me, yeah
Take a chance on me, yeah
You're my remedy, yeah
You may fall indeed, yeah
You'll find peace with me, yeah

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Me, Myself... and no one else ...

1# I have a short Attention Span and I can’t remember shit I have said or done …

2# can’t always understand the opposite sex, but that’s what they say about me as well.

3# I’m loyal … but fucking overtly possessive. And I can cry like hell if I want to …

4# I love traveling, without a reason … and enjoy certain company…

5# just found out that, I’m shitty at relationships… as fucked up as it all seems, I still get my self into them.

6# I enjoy making clean things somewhat filthy. And more if my mom would just allow me.

7# I hate Bollywood commercial cinema, and won’t spend a dime going to those movies …unless some one tricks me ...

8# Cigarettes smoking is relaxing, that’s the reason I give when people ask me why? but the fact is I just like it ….

9# I'm attracted to bratty bad boy men. Luckily, they're attracted to me.

10# I love god and think he has a great plan for me, that’s if I give him a chance.

11#I like copying paintings, but am crap at them …. No Imagination what so ever

12#I regret a lot of things I have done …. And still keep doing them …

13#the future scares the crap out me, but I have come a long way

14# I get angry in a jiffy, but forget why?

15# I fell in love with Kurt Cobain when i was in the 7th grade, and then found out that he was a dead man …

16# I would like to own a custom made Royal Enfield and tour the North part of India on my own. I’m physically challenged right now …..

17# my fav color is Black … but my sister made me pick a red car… My First Car ….. :(

18 # I don’t have patience for listening, Talking yes that suits me fine …..

19# I love home cooked meals, and dread eating out ….

20 # my love for beer has grown tremendously and I know when to say no to it ….

21# I have no problems eating or watching a movie or even enjoying a beer all alone …

22# I’m a shopaholic, but hate shopping in Bangalore.

23# I love music, watching movies, but can’t remember the name of people who sang the song or acted in the movie ….

24 # some songs I listen to make me cry, especially if they are associated with a special people in my life ….

25# I’m totally selfish, but I do love the people in my life.

26 # One more for the Road, I have my mood swings and couldn’t care less ….. That’s me

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Shoes Shoes and More Shoes, a different Obsession !

An interesting thing happened the other day. I decided to wear pair high heeled shoes with nice pointy Heels that I've owned for almost 4 years now. During a conversation with my colleagues, and trying to mock one of them by making a funny gesture, like a dance mock. I broke my heel, just like that in a jiffy, I had a broken heel. My nice expensive, beautiful Cream and Black pointy stilettos saw its destruction, and it felt like my heart just burst into a million shreds. The Broken heel was irreparable.
I went to the mall, walked straight to the footwear section, chose a piece, and got it billed. And was satisfied with the pick, just a bit though. Anyway, here I’m trying to walk out of the mall and I see the Addidas store and walk straight into it and start checking out the loafers /floaters whatever you call them , try on more designs and then Wala! I pick myself another pair and get back to the office.
Here I’m still kind of mourning the demise of my broken stilettos, yet happy with the new additions, and attention-grabbing conversation begins. What’s the limit for the number of shoes one should own? Fair question I must say, someone said they owned about 12 pairs, someone said 8 pairs. When I was asked, I said I own 60 Pairs. It’s true, I know it’s a lot… but they are all so pretty, I could not part with them.
The conversation got a bit more interesting and led to second questions, Are you single? And my answer was yes, but how does that matter? Single or attached , I know I would still end up buying more shoes and bags and other accessories, unless of course I loose all my money , my job ( touch wood) .
Ok so what does being single, got to do with owning 60 pairs of shoes!! . Is this a women way of filling the absence of a man in her life? Will getting a man mean, she would stop buying shoes …

What is it that makes women buy more footwear?

Loneliness ( Oh Hell No !!)

Wasting Precious Money (not if you make them last for 7 years they still look new)

Facts :
Dressing for the occasion (what would the fashion Industry do without us woman? We feed so many because we buy what they design?)
Compliments from other woman (You’re contributing to the growth of the economy, in a way Free Marketing for the brands)
To get a mate (Men are attracted to nice legs, I think, and shoes beautify your feet and legs)

I also heard my friend say, that stilettos are a total turn on, although he only looks, 16 yrs (physically that is)

Major Fact, We have a thing for Shoes, just like men have a thing for Gadgets.


Monday, June 29, 2009

They're coming to get us!!

I believe one of the hardest things you can do is conquer your fears, but if you have a goal, then it's your job to open up and let it be real no matter how scary it seems.

I was born and brought up with Bangalore ,although I can’t claim that I know each and every part of Bangalore ,but I can say I’m a true bangalorean. Every bangalorean lives life with a zeal, lives life fearlessly, and takes life as it comes,
However, it all changed for me end of last year. That’s when it hit me that the Bangalore that I was talking about was the thing of the past. Why? Because this one episode in my life thought me how gruesome a city life can actually be, not just for woman the so called weaker sex, but also for men.
It was a regular weekend thing, nothing very special, a girl friend and I decided to catch up for a bite as we did most weekends. This particular weekend, we were is a jolly good mood and decided to take a drive post dinner and headed on towards the new Airport. It was lovely weather and we were listening to our favorite music, so when we reached the airport we hung out for a while in the coffee shop, and decided to head back to her place for a night cap.
As we reached this place called Bell Circle the Lorry Traffic got a bit heavier so we waited for the signal to turn green before we took off, that’s when all hell broke loose. I shit you not it was one of scariest experiences of my life. I thought I would pass out with fear, I felt powerless as a woman; I felt that our life was to come to an end that day.
So this is how it all happened. The music was loud; the front window was open half way. My friend and I were sharing a laugh, when I suddenly we noticed a Big car overtake and stop at the signal. Suddenly a Man got off the car and started approaching us , in a jiffy I pulled up my window , put off the music and checked the doors, he approached us looked into the car and went back just like that , by that time we sensed the danger and were cautious . The signal turned green and we took a right toward her place, when the car started following us, all we wanted to do then confirm if they were actually going to follow us so to make sure of that we took the road on the left instead of the actual road which led us to her place.
The Chase,
It was a double road with median about every two hundred meters from the circle, as we hit that road , the car overtook mine and stopped right in front of me , My friend who thought fast asked me to take a U-Turn which they least expected and so I did , unfortunately the road was narrow and I had to reverse my car again to make that turn , and so the chase began.

The car chased us on that double road which lead to her place , I was trying to keep calm and drive fast to get rid of the stalkers , but they were fast as well and keeping pace , they cornered me again and luckily right in front of the median and as instructed by my friends, I took the that median and drove on the wrong side of the road and the chase continued , until I we reached this Sharp narrow turn where they were successfully able to over take me and corner me for the last time . two guys got out of the car and I could say that they were high on something , when they approached , I took that opportunity took a slight reverse and over took the car that was blocking me . we were close to her place by then another 1 kilometer and we would reach her place, but the damn chase still continued, I hit a 110 and did not care about the damn speed breakers, My heart was racing faster and was my friends, in that panic we could not think straight and did not think about the cops, the idea was to make it near her place and the and scream if we had too. We stopped with a screeching Halt at her front gate and I asked her to stay put. There were four guys, two got out and approached us right in front of her house a started banging on my windshield and tried to open the door, I kept the car running, holding the clutch so tight that my ankle had a sprain. They looked threatening and tried to say something which I could not hear. My friend called her parents to open the door and as soon as the lights came in the guys jumped in to their car and took off.

That day I came not come to terms with the new Bangalore and how it had changed. How it was not safe anymore. How woman could not walk freely without being looked at or molested in a crowd. How we could not party all night and return home safe.
I learnt my lesson the hard way, but life goes on and I know I can’t stop living because of that one unfortunate incident. My faith in god increased because I’m sure without him, I would be dead meat and ended up in the gutter. So girls out there are cautious being Bold and learn to drive, keep a weapon with you at all times and learn to kick some arse.


Saturday, June 27, 2009

Newyork - Yash chopra movie

After 3 long years I watched a bollywood movie on the big screen. The name did sound very Hollywood and the review was high-quality.

The storyline was based on pre and post 9/11attacks and some facts.

Interesting quote,I noticed in the movie was : Fush Buck !

Actors: Neil Nithin Mukesh did a good job; Katrina was ok, but did make a style statement in perhaps setting a new trend. John Abraham was straight-faced like his most other movies, and proved to have the same idiom throughout. Irfan Khan was himself and did a fantastic Job.

They spared us the love songs, and there was no running around the trees or hiding behind the bushes for a change. All in all worth one watch for the money that I paid.
The interesting part of watching it in the theater was the company. At my sides were good friends and colleagues. The one at my left kept me entertained with remarks on everything that happened in the movie. So we burst out laughing at serious scenes, while others watched in complete silence.

My next Bollywood commercial flick will most likely be in the next 3 years, if I ever get talked into watching one.
Catch or Trash it? If you have nothing interesting to do on a weekend then catch it or else get a copy and watch it at home I would say.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Michael rest in peace and thank you for making such great music.

I mourn the death of one of my much loved singer today.

I’m not much of a fan for Hollywood movies stars. But I have a special place in my heart for musicians. The fact that music is best part of being alive makes me bow to people who make it.

It was post 12’noon, when I finally woke up after a late night, to hear of the latest news that had hit the late hours of US and early hours of India. Hey “Michael Jackson died this morning! Is all I heard?

It was quite a shock per say with disbelief. As usual the news was unbelievable and thought of as a hoax, until it got confirmed on my way to office. The fact that he was to perform his last concert in London for his 50th and for one last time and making possible for his fans to truly enjoy the spirit and excitement he brought into his music now will remain a lost dream. It also made me think of how unpredictable life really was and further strengthened my belief in the saying “life is what happens to you while you’re making plans”.
My Past with Michael,
I grew up listening to his music in the late 80’s and have been and avid fan since. The fact that Michael was dragged into some senseless controversies, his self abusive nature, did not affect me in the least and I’m sure all his fans as well.
His music did not limit itself to entertainment but fascinated me, was momentous and thought of as very consequential to the world. His music brought awareness, promoted solidarity, an aura of incredibly inimitable flamboyancy, which captured once imagination at its highest point. I’m Glad he was part of the 80’s and we got to witness four decades of marvelous music.
As I write this, several funny instances come to my mind. This one particular episode of my school life is closely tied into memories of Michaels one very special song “ Remember the time “ as part of the co-curricular team in the 9th grade back in 1996 I think, some my mates decided to entertain peers with their dancing skills and dragged me into it as a scapegoat . After much thought and discussion, it was decided that we’ll replicate the video which we had all watched on MTV and loved. I was to play the part of the queen as I proved to be a nuisance and had issue synchronizing with other very good dancers. So all I had to do was sit around and act coy ;). Although that performance never made it to the stage, it was an experience and definitely worth it. I have several such incidents of my school life where Michael pictured,“Heal the world”, Just beat it , you’re not alone , are some such songs which have a special place in my heart.

As a promise to keep the spirit of Michael's music alive, I hope to tell my Children and grand children all about him and make them listen to his music. He was truly a legend.
Michael rest in peace and thank you for making such great music.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Silent Noise Party: to have or not to have ?

Silent Noise Party:

Last month when I was speaking to a customer of mine, I came to know of a very interesting thing, it was about the latest party scene. Apparently this type of partying was called the “Silent Noise party” which drew a lot of young party goers in Goa. This customer of mine who apparently came to Goa last year during Christmas told me that this was being done to make sure people don’t get disturbed and people can have fun as well .
It was quite amusing this news , cause I felt the whole reason of being around people , talking in high pitch tones ,trying to hit on someone were soon going to be lost party traditions. First you would have to take of your head phone each time the other person said something. You can’t head bang to some shitty techno music, because you’re way too under the influence and don’t give a *fish about the DJ or his music and have your own rock song playing
The positives of such partying no doubt are, quite impressive no neighbors to complain, No cheap guys getting closer to make some silly conversation, because they are busy managing their headphone, and if you have a headache, you can get those damn headphones off and relax with a drink....
In a way I think this is a brilliant idea but yet a very crappy way to party… wonder what’s next………
So what say Bangalore … should we have our own headphone parties? Check this out the link and comment http://www.silentnoise.in/

You Cheated !

I often wondered how adults turn into immature kids when something completely innocent and fun changes its course and becomes competitive. I have always found it fascinating to watch people playing a fun game of cards or board games and act outrageously pissed off if there is a dis-agreement. Not that I have not been a part of several such torrent fights and walked out on many such events fuming and fussing.
Ever wondered what makes them go Ga Ga over a stupid game. Recently I witnessed quite a few incidents and all I could do was laugh and try to make peace. I heard accusations being made about how the game should be played , referring to the rule book, to try to make sense out of it,“ you cheated” being said as if it was the worst form of torture that someone could inflict.
What did cheating mean in the real sense? , An interesting quote that I read somewhere comes to my mind “He that will cheat at play, will cheat you any way”. When I read this quote it did somehow make sense but not completely. How can we not trust a best friend or a lover or sibling, just because they cheated in a silly child game?
Does cheating when we were children have serious implication in adulthood, I hope not! The dictionary meaning of the words stated it a deception for profit to yourself , further digging brought out several meanings…….
To deceive by trickery; swindle: cheated customers by overcharging them for purchases.
2. To deprive by trickery; defraud: cheated them of their land.
3. To mislead; fool: illusions that cheat the eye.
4. To elude; escape: cheat death.

1. To act dishonestly; practice fraud.
2. To violate rules deliberately, as in a game: was accused of cheating at cards.
3. Informal To be sexually unfaithful: cheat on a spouse.
4. Baseball To position oneself closer to a certain area than is normal or expected: The shortstop cheated toward second base.

That one word could mean so much if put into different contexts, and my personal opinion is that cheating should be treated carefully in any form. Careless accusations have serious after affects. Before accusing someone of it consider the implications and then make a sound decision.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Damn !! Good things just dont Last

Good things don't last!!

After a number of weekends wiled away in cleaning, cleaning and more cleaning the remains of the day left by the never-ending construction of our new red brick room on the terrace, which by the way still progresses at snail’s pace. An opportunity not to remember work and let our hair loose was presented, sometime last week.
The much needed break came from a good friend,and a double celebration (belated birthday and just for fun) was in store for us valiant (Ash and Renjith ;)) soldiers who by the way had worked real hard and were entitled to some commonsensical time to avoid shooting themselves in the head or shooting someone else in the gut.

My Saturday started as usual like any other day.Waking up to my mum sweet voice ;) had kind of become a repetitive thing which was hard not to pay much attention to, when it happens for the millionth time,as usual and like every parent she thought we were negligent and lazy and all that good stuff. After much contemplation I woke up, made my way down stairs looking for that much needed fresh air to clear my lungs without which the start of the day seemed impossible.

Anyway, without much a due and the continuous cribbing from the parent, I got into my jeans and a T-shirt, got my car keys and set off to find the perfect floor tiles for the new brick sanctuary, the fact that the new establishment will one day serve as a unruffled place to hang out with friends and family, and grant us bit more privacy from the gaping eyes of the much respected neighbors was i must say quite inviting,and needed some contribution from me. After driving from one place to another, back and forth, re-visiting the same place with an empty stomach, tired faces, invariable instructions to drive carefully by my little mature sister, the madness came to a halt at tea time.

Thanks to all the dharshini’s in south India, a quick bite on some Mangalore goli bajji and a sticky orange candy was satisfactory and quite a re-charge to our exhausted body, we got back home to some more cleaning,and that’s when we pulled out the card of UNO to play a few games and start getting ready for the evening to hit that one savior friend’s place who invited us to a terrace barbecue jamboree.
After much excitement and contemplation on if we should squander time giving the big bear( that’s our yellow lab , unless you thought otherwise ) in the house a bath, which was not very appealing and long due, we decided against it and made our way to take a warm shower before heading off.
It turned out to be a long drive but definitely worth it,a pit stop to buy some smokes also led us into buying some props which were to be used at this double celebration, (Face Masks, a Fake drum, and a pom pom if you may call it). After completing the transactions with the shop owner, we headed off to the house and the people awaiting our arrival of us valiant beings,with great patience were relieved to see us guests who were quite delayed. The grill was happening and the yummy food was being served which was very inviting to our empty stomachs . We at last reached our destination put on our masks and exited the car with screams and squeal wishing the host a belated happy b’day, and crowned her as the queen of the night.

The excitement resumed
Food and drinks were consumed.
Spontaneous jokes were shared
Funny poses were made

Pictures were clicked
Girls’smiles were faked
There was a new bloke
Who warmed up to the folks?

Shit hit the roof
When the game of UNO was introduced
It all ended at 3
And we were all relieved

Sunday morning came fast
though we slept 10 past
Leena,this party was a Blast
Damn!good things just don’t last.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Hopeless Romantic -A short story of a woman on her path to self discovery…..

Arundati had just turned 28. A Services Manager by profession; she had still so much to achieve. Coming from a very orthodox Indian family with views to go with that, they were not exactly her fans. Her liberal attitude and strong opinions on topics ranging from marriage to politics infuriated her father to an extent he had given up on her.

She personally felt she had reached a point where she had lost patience to impress people or chase around some bloke just for the fun of it. Often finding herself puzzled with her dealings and the fact that she had not learnt much from them often left her wondering.she suddenly remembered a the economic theory that had kept her up all night during her pre-university days. The theory of human wants. She laughed out loud, so much of studying that crap and she could not even remember it straight.

She was truly a hopeless romantic,of that she was very sure……………………………………………

For several weeks she had done nothing but loath over her latest great love and how it had botched. But deep inside she knew she had hard-pressed the limit of human stamina and it was not correct to hold on to somebody who could never be pleased with the way she was. Oh F***!! she said,and her dad looked at her with that same look he always gave her when she used the WORD.

In her mind she could hear herself saying “I would never be happy with the way I had turned out to be”.That was it; in a split second she was sure she could no longer go on like this, could I? Was it really me? Had I said and done all those things? Could I be more hurting? What had happened to me? What was this obsession? What made me suicidal? Would I be able to see the person face to face and act like a stranger? So many questions ran through her anxious mind, which was urgently looking for answers and found no books for counsel. She knew she had fallen and was on her own, no one to lend a hand … what does a person do at these aching times? What does one do, when it hurts so shoddily? That’s it … she said to herself …. It was time for decision, measures and most of all a point to grow up.

This was exactly last Sunday the 29th of March 2009…. The day she said her first “that’s it” and meant it for real. It was exactly week later… Sunday night … she had recently taken up to Photography and was coming back from the photography work shop, which she had really enjoyed, quietly driving in her red Ferrari after a nice cold beer,which was her usual weekend thing,she dreamily made her way back Home . Suddenly out of nowhere as if something jumped out of the bushes here thoughts began to clobber her then vacant mind.

The one question that kept repeating like her mother’s cribbing. She laughed at the irony of her comparison and thought that there is so much more to life than broken heart, Right?

Her actions flashed like a space ship traveling in light-years…or watching those movie flicks in fast forward mode. What had I done? Stupid stupid little girl … cursing herself she brought her hand down hard, Bang! This action and the loud noise it made drew some unwanted attention, but of course arundati had no patience to give it a second thought ...

Arundati’s Journal:

My life began at 28…..
I won’t say i have entirely become a different person, but in way I was a new person with a new agenda and this time it did not include any MEN. It was time to move on , live on my own stipulations … yes marriage was on the cards , would love to find some one to hold on to … but for now , I required to be with myself , discern myself , get to know me from my own eyes .

What brought that change in me was an attempt to look at things from a brighter side. Blaming myself for my mistakes and others was no solace… believe me, when you find reasons to blame someone one, then you know it was entirely your fault.

Truth is definitely sour if not bitter and it’s always “Better late than never”.

As I tried to think more and more of what I had done wrong, it all came flooding back to me. I had to seriously change myself, even before I thought of associating with a special someone. Did I really know myself? Do I know what I wanted from this life; yeah sure I have dreams like any other person. Sure I feel immature, grown up all at the same time, I even feel positive about everything at this very moment , but some where in that creepy little corner of my head , a dark little place , there is insecurity and self doubt .

DO I really know my self? This question I guess has no definite answer, surely I have taken a path to self discovery , but how far would I go , would I crumble and fall all over again and hurt my self . No not again is my Final Answer…. Funnily I can hear the TV Reality show anchor saying “Lock Kiya Jaaye” in one of those hyped Get rich quick shows.

I would not fall in to something I know wont work out in the first instance… Life just gets complicated when you’re not single, sure everyone needs someone, but what makes us feel that way, why can’t we be happy with ourselves? This is my path to self discovery , this is where I say no to things that really don’t hold any value… this is the time I say no to things which don’t make me happy … do I need a person in my life to make me feel loved ? I don’t think so … I need to make my self feel loved… that’s what I have to do, love me, yet be selfless. So do I turn into a Narcissist, no but a bit of self obsession can prove to be very positive. The need to feel good , look good , dress well , are all good things to have … self love , to be the kind of person you want to be is very important. Today I start loving myself, and stop pitying myself for me. I have come to terms with this change the hard way and can now claim that I understand when people say “ everything happens for a reason and i don believe those reason were definitely for the better.

The End…