Forgive and Forget

This weekend was truly life changing and I can’t explain the feeling but I’ll try. I signed up for a weekend course called “Encounter with God” at Adonai which is a charismatic church I have started attending.

I realized that my life desperately needed strong fellowship and help me understand what building a relationship with Christ actually meant. I have been attending Sunday service for the last 4 weeks and I kid you not, these hours have been the most productive than anything else I have done in my life so far.

Anyways, the reason I write this is to specifically talk about the Encounter Weekend. It was truly an encounter! Just like how the police force get together to catch criminals and destroy them similarly, I united with the lord and fellow church members to kill and destroy what the enemy had held captive.

The course started with powerful talks from different members of the ministry and they covered different topics. They tried their best to set expectations of what was to come and how the entire weekend would end , But no one could prepare us for the last session , I was not sure of what I was to do until I sat in front of the two people who would pray over me and help start my healing.

The two most powerful words which were used throughout the sessions were “Forgive and Forget”. That should have given us a hint of what was to be expected in the last ministry sessions. So there I was standing outside the hall waiting for the people who would spend the next one hour with me. I was completely clueless of what I was supposed to do and with a nervous feeling in my heart I went in and saw the smiling faces of my Ministry team.

The healing begins

I have no memory of how I started, I have no memory of what all I discussed, I can only remember that I wept and poured out my heart and they prayed over me. I had visions of the lord comforting me. I knew that God had planned my life differently, but the enemy had entered into my life and stolen that life.

The healing has begun. I realized that there was no greater thing in life than to forgive and to forget transgressions. It was the nicest thing to do. Can you imagine forgiving the person who hurt you; I know what you’re thinking?! How can one just forgive or forget the very person who has caused you so much pain? If this is the question you have refer to the bible and see what Jesus did, he did two ultimate acts before he gave up his life and that was to Forgive every single individual who led him to the Cross, betrayed his trust, abused his body unimaginably, the second thing he did was he took our transgressions, our hurts, betrayal to the cross with him. He paid the ultimate price for us.

So not only forgive others but also forgive yourself.

I'm a proud "Work in Progress"

I lovingly call myself a "WORK IN PROGRESS" Christian, eagerly waiting to be perfected in his love. Its reminds me of boys going through a adolescent hair style phase much like the Jim Morrison hairdo,which by far was the best phase as its is neither short not long.

As I read my bible, a piece of paper falls out of it and it’s a prayer, I pick it up and start reading it and a sense of joy fills my mind.The lord calls me his masterpiece!! He proclaims his love for me openly and says he wants me to be his child.
As days go by and I walk stronger in the lord, I have a new perspective on life.I have gone from being a depressed little child more positive adult.

Although I must admit that evil lies close and I sometimes tend to make the same mistake I have committed before, but my sins don’t bog me down anymore, they rather help me get closer to him as I repent and each time I fall,I plan to get up and strive towards not falling again and this is a pact I make with god.

A friend in need is a friend indeed :)

Its 6.15 am , I’m wide awake due to some un called for and self inflicted stupidity. Evasively contemplating between going to the gym and getting back to bed.

It’s a gorgeous morning, bright and fairly warm. A perfect day for a morning walks.
I can hear the soft raga of the flute playing somewhere in the distant and it soothes my mind a bit.
I get on line as most slackers do when awake and suddenly my best friend is online, just when I need her! She is truly god sent and stuck by me in most of myself inflicted madness.

She works the magic of her words on me yet again, but this time she’s a bit stern and has tone of a person who cares for you but means business. She warns me to get my act together and stop being someone else I’m not.
Her sweet voice says she loves me and misses our time together, and explains how one has to move on and see what new adventures life brings for us, while we embark upon UN called adventures we still remain entwined in the happy fond memories we once shared.

We make a pact on spending more time webcam chatting on weekends and say good bye. I do thank our wonderful god for good friends most off all I thank him for her.

Mangoes

The summer season in India brings unquenchable heat; nevertheless it brings pleasant things too. Like big yellow lush fruits.. Yes! I’m talking about the king of all fruits the one and only Mr.Mangoe

As far as traditions go, eating mangoes is part of long lost Indian traditions. I remember my summers in Mangalore where the entire family got together once a year to enjoy the peace and calm of a village life.

Three generations, gathered under one roof, in a big portico that served as an entertainment section for guest and turned into a big dining room at meal times.
It also that acted as a community hall 14 grand children aged 13 to 1 years old. The 150 year old Portuguese designed house with its massive ceilings was a delight.



I still remember the teak wood round dining table that adorns the entrance of a beautiful red tiled mansion with money plants across the circumference.
I was only 6 years then and one thing that stuck in my mind was eating mangoes. Different mangoes which tasted different and were from every tree at Granma’s.

I feel nostalgic,I’m back to being a 6 year old running around in my tiny knee length frocks and sandals.This very memory is fresh and bright as the yellow lush fruit and big a part of my life and it feels as if it just happened yesterday.

I can see everyone just gathered in front of a heap of raw mangoes and large ceramic jars and ultimately the end result would be big jars of yummy pungent mango Achar (pickles) to take back home with us to the city life we led .

A very well known tradition in India is savoring mangoes post lunch or dinner. It’s as if its second nature to us and seasonal habit. Eating a fruit is definitely part of the Indian diet, however during summer you will find this yellow lush fruit definitely rules.

I miss being a 6 year old and getting messy while eating the king of fruits. I do someday wish my kids will be able to experience the joys of simple lives in the village rather than electronic gadgets in the cities

The Magic Scripture!

If you were to think of the most negative person on earth, I can surely tell you, I take the entire cake. I have always been a happy person, yet there has always been this very daunting air for not taking things for granted part of me, which has landed me in to more trouble than I could manage.

I’m sat at my bed, and its 3.30 am Friday morning. I’m at a point of my life where everything should seem quite settled and happy, yet I have found a way to make myself stagger through known waters of negativity.

As I was reading a specific blog, it just dawned upon me that I was terribly questioning the lord and his presence in my life. I can easily say that I’m the so called struggling Christian and life is like an everyday war between good and bad.
There is one specific part of the scripture that came to my mind and always does when I questions my whole existence on this planet that is the magic gospel of Mathew , Chapter 6 …I call it my magic scripture.

The sheer depth of that chapter leaves me baffled and makes me think twice about the worthless love the world has to offer. The love that is temporary is vain.

I read the chapter it provides me great solace, makes me feel worthy. Makes its crystal clear that God does not play games, he is a direct, he loves us and that’s all there is to it. His love is unconditional, like your his first love and he’ll love you no matter what you do, how you look or how many times you fall.

The day I truly feel god in my life, will be the day I will never care for any other love again. Until then my life is a struggle and I only pray I come victorious one day.

Birds by Kate Nash !

Right birds can fly so high or they can xxxx on your head
Yeah they can almost fly into your eye and make you feel so scared.
But when you look at them, and you see that they're beautiful,
That's how i feel about you.
Right birds can fly so high or they can xxxx on your head,
Yeah they can almost fly into your eye and make you feel well scared.
But when you look at them, and you see that they're beautiful,
That's how i feel about you.
Right, thats how i feel about you.

She said "thanks, I like you too."
He said "cool."

Ruckus By Galactic

This band brings out the best funk-Jazz to the market. The best drums ever! Crisp and staccato effects and music you can’t ignore. It will definitely get your booty shaking,

It’s mind-blowing, it’s electric and captivating to the extent that you can feel the the music run through your veins. It gives you a high and makes you move your body to the rythemand guess what you don’t have a choice. The Lyrics are superbly composed and incompressible making it a interesting listen and worth every penny.
Galactic Band Members : Theryl De' Clouet (vocals); Jeffrey Raines (guitar); Ben Elliman (harmonica, saxophone, programming); Richard Vogel (keyboards); Robert Mercurio (bass, background vocals); Stanton Moore (drums, loops).


Personnel: Teedy Boutte, Theryl DeClouet (vocals); Jim Greer (guitar, keyboards); Ben Ellman (harmonica, saxophone, programming); Glenn Hartman (accordion); Richard Vogel (keyboards); Stanton Moore (drums, loops); Robert Mercurio (background vocals)

Don’t Generalize!

Generalizing is one of the most common things one resorts to while proving a point. I have myself used it several times while discussing various issues like Religion, Countries, Language, and Politics etc. I have come to realize that it’s not the most positive way to prove a point or build opinions or attitudes.

Recently after watching the Russell Peter’s show , I noticed that he did generalize a lot and somehow indirectly helped build opinions about people , although I do agree that most of it is true , but forming opinions on what you hear is nothing but sheer mendacity , which I do believe one should NOT resort to.

If you know someone who falls under a specific category, then give the person a chance to prove otherwise. And to those people, who tend to generalize very often, STOP NOW! (That goes out to me as well)

Some Quotes I really like !

1. “Love is when you shed a tear and still want him, it's when he ignores you and you still love him, it's when he loves another girl but you still smile and say I'm happy for you, when all you really do is cry.

“Most people have a harder time letting themselves love than finding someone to love them.”

“Love is when the other person's happiness is more important than your own.”

“Love is being stupid together.”

You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with.

Before the throne of the Almighty, man will be judged not by his acts but by his intentions. For God alone reads our hearts.

Funny Bones! How many you have man?

Being funny is the single most admirable trait in anyone. Cracking people up, being witty etc, I think is more alluring than being really HOT, Sexy and Dumb (All of these together can be a total Apocalypse and can only work in the bed room, for probably 30 mins) At least I seem to think so 
I would rather be stuck on an island with a funny guy than a hot one … Jeez….. No amount of six packs can entertain you while you’re lost, hungry, and thirsty and want to strangle someone.

I have funny bone in me. Wow! A fact I discovered, only recently. Not that I fit into the category of Sexy and Dumb Before! Thank God!! But I guess you can call me the average funny Indian Jane, with a quick wit and a wee bit of humor. Nothing major really, but I can get away with a few lames jokes sometimes.

Self deprecation I have heard is the best way to try and make people snicker. Racist jokes I don’t approve off but, can sometimes be a quick way to lighten up someone’s mood, provided there is no one around that could take you seriously.
A funny conversation with the opposite gender can be a quick way to polish those skills better and can help build a quick rapport in getting to know them (Try it single people, It works!)

I have met a lot of humorous people and love spending time with them. There’s no time for any serious talk really, and who wants to talk serious stuff all the time know? Raise your Hand please.

So discover your funny bone and keep it fresh. Who knows, one day you might even start making money with that quick wit now. Aye?

Happy Republic Day ...

It’s almost midnight 27th January 2009; I left office at 11.00 pm 26th January 2010. On my way back home I witnessed the below,
1. Faith: A boy not more than 20 years old ,had parked his bike at the corner of the highways, had taken his helmet, his shoes off and was on his knee’s bowing to a temple on the other side of the Highways. He did that thrice by the time my cab passed him.. I was baffled as this was the first time I saw something like this.

2. Predictability : About 4 Km’s from the first incident , As my cab was reached the KR puram under bridge , we almost met with an accident , I gasped out of fear and made a noise which sounded like the geckos that create sound , I guess its sign of bad luck

3. Death: About a 300 meters from the under bridge is a Speed breaker, A man lying on his front under his bike, was bald, was motionless, his plastic helmet had not helped, the crowd was consumed by fear and no one wanted to touch him. No one wanted to check his pulse, no one wanted to stop, not even our driver, for the fear of being taken to the police station for a statement, and no one has the time. Right?

All of these above incidents are stuck in my mind. How strong is one’s faith is toward something he worships does that make us responsible humans , responsible towards our country , our people ,, how unpredictable your day can be, I could have been the one dead , and how death comes to you when you least expect it.
India has definitely lost its value for life, and no amount of faith in our human system can help restore it.

Happy Republic day all … or should what the hell are we celebrating about!

Finding Jesus

Change in my life has been constant.

The one thing I have struggled with is to love Jesus, as easy as it sounds, it’s the hardest thing one could do to keep going strong. Your life somehow gets you when you least expect and so has been the case in mine.

Late 2005, I started being part of a prayer group, the first time I cried by self to bed, the guilt of wrong choices were very looming and unbearable. Every time I looked at the cross the guilt would rise up to my throat and choke me .

It was a hard fight, in exchange for that incredible feeling of joy. It’s was different joy, it like no other. Being in the lord was rewarding, he answered my prayers gave me a job, but as thankless as I was, I forgot all about him and went back to my worldly requirements.

Its 2010 now, exactly 5 years and when I think about this it only tells me how much time I have wasted in finding Jesus, my life has just passed me by and I have wasted precious time and forgotten the Joy I felt in 2005.

As I look at my bible in which I used to make notes I find this on the last page “ Trust God No Matter what , Trust is the result of falling in Love, and love needs to be proved” Fall in love with Jesus. Jesus knows when it’s the right time to listen to his word.

I have Ephesians Chapter 5 as reference, and it says “Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children;

And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for sweet smelling savor.

Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ;

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
Husbands love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.
To do all of the above its only possible “IF you FALL in LOVE with JESUS” Am I ready? HELL YEAH!

Possessive : To be or Not to be

Its Saturday 4.00pm. As I take a peek at my past and how closely the title relates to my past actions, I wonder what the limit should be to one being possessive. This particular trait, if I may call it that has been a part of me for some time now, its hard thing to do away with. I thought it was only a problem limited to myself , but after speaking to a lot of my girl friends , I now know that there are several women out there who suffer with the same emotions and I’m sure there are lot of women throughout the world who fight every day to put those feeling behind or hide it from those who matter .

Is it really right to hide it or ignore that you feel this way? Suffer with it and don’t let anyone know how you feel, Can one deal with that creepy feeling on their own? How should the other person react to this awful feeling of insecurity? As usual I have so many questions, it’s my fight I need to deal with it now and I need to deal with it right.

I look at this one prayer that was sent to me by a friend, on self-worth, I think Possessiveness is a direct result of insecurity. However, insecurity only comes in when the person who should assure you is not doing a very good job of it.

Possessiveness is applicable to any relationship, and it’s of utmost importance that both parties understand each other’s short comings and work with each out to ensure they feel safe in the relationship. I truly believe that enough communication and re-assurance can play a very positive part in discarding the unconstructive feelings resulting and eradicating every emotion, feeling that is a byproduct of INSECURITY.

Men and women are different , and their emotional needs are poles apart , how they harmonize with each other is the key to a successful relationship , I’m sure we have read a whole lot of research which has gone into exactly segregating these emotional requests. But how many of us really do understand the opposite sex and want to work with them through their trials? Each relationship is different and when it does not work you know you have not done enough to save it from drowning. We rather suffer separately than work things out. The patience level has reduced to mere egoistic trips that both men and women prefer and want than, to rebuild a broken relationship.
our parents were really lucky, as they preferred working things out than just letting each other down and go their separate ways.